Loss of a Friend
by Oko Naki
Summary: Semi-bad story about Gundam Wing...for those of you who have read about her, Sara (a.k.a. Snap) dies after an accident which Oko blames herself for.


Note from the HTMLer: Oko does not own Gundam Wing. I don't either for that matter, but for this story that doesn't really matter.  
***  
Tashi was dead, Wufei was dead, the clan was dead, and now Snap was on the verge of death. She didn't remember when she had last shown any emotion, but she was almost crying. She had tried to keep Snap at a distance, for fear Snap would die if she got too close. Snap was more than a friend, she was like a sister. Now she was lying in the hospital, fighting for her life.  
  
Why hadn't she been able to save her? She was meant to be strong, but she had been weak. She felt she didn't deserve to live, but she would continue to do so, just so she could make the who had caused the death of her husband, her clan, and Wufei pay for their injustices. Why hadn't she been able to save any of them?  
  
She remembered standing on the balcony, at school, talking to Snap, about nothing in particular, when several mobil suits had appeared; as if out of nowhere. They had both run for their Gundams, completely forgetting about each other's presence. Only the thought of the upcoming battle had been in her mind.  
  
Snap and Oko had fought hard; destroying all those who opposed them. Thinking the battle to be over, Snap had jumped from Vanish Point's cockpit and was walking back towards the school; but the battle was far from over.  
  
Reinforcements had arrived. There were about 20 OZ Specials and 30 other mobil suits; the odds weren't too bad. Oko was completely immersed in the battle; all thoughts of anything outside her Gundam's cockpit vanished from her mind. It took Oko close to an hour and a half to destroy all the mobil suits and the carriers that had brought them. It was then she remembered Snap.  
  
Immediately after leaving the cockpit, she had set off to find her. Oko found Snap half buried under some of the wall that had fallen during the battle. Fearing for Snap's life, she had rushed her to the hospital.  
  
When they had gotten there, Snap was taken immediately into surgery and that had left Oko to fill out the release forms. The other pilots had come shortly after Oko had had someone call them. Hilde, Noin, and Relena had accompanied them. Zechs had arrived a day later. That was four days ago. No one had left the hospital since. The doctors had said Snap would most likely come out of her coma, but no one really knows with this type of thing.  
  
She couldn't believe that another person she had let got close to her was dying. The others did their best to make her believe that Snap's accident wasn't her fault, but she refused to listen. Everyone was resting in the chairs that were scattered throughout the waiting room. Everyone but Oko, anyway.  
  
Unlike the others, she was restless. She wouldn't rest until she knew if Snap would be okay.  
  
"Oko?" Relena's calm and quiet voice sounded, successfully bringing Oko back to reality.  
  
"Hn?" was the only response she received.  
  
"Would you like some coffee or a cup of tea?"  
  
"No, but I'll take some Wild Turkey, if Zechs has any."  
  
"Would you like something to eat, too?"  
  
"No," Oko said harshly, immediately regretting her sharp tone. She saw no way of taking it back, so she didn't try.  
  
She watched Relena retreat down the hall to go find Zechs. "How is she?" Zechs asked his sister, as she walked through the double doors leading to the cafeteria.  
  
"I think she's really worried about Snap, but it's hard to tell."  
  
"Is she still refusing to accept that Snap's accident wasn't her fault?"  
  
"You should know better than to ask," Relena said teasingly.  
  
"I wish there was something we could do for her, I mean she's already lost everyone else."  
  
"There's nothing we can do, but pray that Snap will get through this."  
  
In the waiting room, Oko had started pacing, again. After two days of this, it had started to drive the doctors and nurses crazy. In fact, even they had started to pray for Snap's life, if just for their sanity. A week passed by and there was no change in her condition.  
  
Heero had started putting sedatives in Oko's drinks. It was obvious to everyone that that was the only way she would ever get any rest. They were all watching her sleep, when an alarm went off in Snap's hospital room.  
  
Oko woke up immediately and ran into Snap's room, to see if everything was alright. Everyone feared the worse, but doctors were able to stabilize her. Snap's chances of survival dropped that night, worrying Oko even further.  
  
While Oko was sleeping, Heero had put quite a few sedatives in her coffee this time; the doctor delivered the bad news. Snap had died early that morning. The others all debated over who should have to tell her.  
  
Heero was elected for that job because he would remain emotionless and he was also the least likely to be killed. She woke up shortly after their argument and knew, from the looks on their faces, that something was wrong.  
  
"Oko," Duo said quietly, "Heero has something to tell you."  
  
"She died didn't she?"  
  
"Yes," was Heero's only response.  
  
She got up slowly and walked into Snap's room. It looked as if Snap were only sleeping. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you."  
  
"You shouldn't be sorry, it was an accident. Accidents can't always be prevented," Noin's voice came from behind.  
  
"It was my fault. I could have fought differently and she never would have been hurt."  
  
"She was a soldier, soldiers die."  
  
"She was more than a soldier to me, she was my friend!" Oko said fiercely.  
  
"I didn't mean it like that," Noin said, trying to calm Oko's rising anger.  
  
Zechs walked in and immediately felt the tension between the two women. He walked over to his wife and asked, "What's wrong?"  
  
"She seems to think she killed Snap," Noin whispered in his ear.  
  
"You couldn't have prevented it," he said to Oko.  
  
"If I hadn't sent that Leo flying into the wall, Snap would still be here."  
  
Zechs and Noin looked at each other. They had no idea how to respond to that. Oko hadn't told anyone how Snap had been crushed. He wrapped his arm around his wife and led her out of room, leaving Oko alone.  
  
It took Oko three weeks to come to terms with losing her only friend. She still blamed herself, but she was finally able to accept that there was nothing she could have done. The night she realized this, was the first night she slept without being, secretly, sedated.  
***  
Read and review please. 


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